There Goes My Life

Okay, problem! I just saw my boyfreind for the first time in DAYS!! Unfortunatly, I just couldn't find it in me to tell him I've changed. A few days earlier- before I got grounded- I was the type of girl the would listen to Speechless by The Victorias and watch sappy movies and I was strong. I was independent. Now, I'm listening to anything Eminem writes. I'm rapping. I'm weak. I cry when I'm alone. I'm depenent on my best friend- let's call her A. I rely on her more than I prefer. I'm afraid to be alone for more than a minute, afraid of breaking down and tearing the building down. I carry around a stuffed dog like an 8- year old. Only because he gave it to me. I'm lost without him. I don't want to live without him. God, I sound like an emo bitch. Not trying to offend anyone. Hey, I was emo once, when I lost him. God, my life revolves around him. When he's gone, my world stops turniing in that oh- so mystical way that it does. So, I need major advice. What do I do? Do I tell he or or the changes self- evident? I hate keeping secrets from him, but I'm afraid of regretion. Please, please, help!!